I'm sitting under falling stars...Do you miss me where you are?

Maybe things will be okay

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 23:38:13 GMT

Here in this diary, I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses, and sing alongs.
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
that right now is all that matters...

So this is where I get all sappy and nostalgic about this summer.

But to be honest, I did have a lot of fun this summer. Even though there were times I complained abut how much it sucked, looking back on it now, the good times outweigh the bad.

So maybe the first month was a little...well...rough. Right after graduation Fran left for Australia, Carden left for Mexico, people were working, taking random trips away. And I'm not gonna lie here...it sucked. Cause I was sitting around, working and waiting for everyone to get back. At times I felt like I was just wasting my summer waiting for people to get back. But once I got out of that funk I actually did have fun...and it seemed to make the days go by faster. Like Kathryn said in her journal, this summer really did go by way too fast...and it was probably cause we knew what was coming. And instead of sitting around wasting time, we made the most out of each day we had...and yeah, we really did. I've gotta say, I'm going into college having no regrets about this summer and realizing that I probably have the best friends in the world right now. Maybe in college we'll meet new people, maybe even move on and never speak again. I hope that doesn't happen, but I know that I have some of the best memories with them and they mean the world to me. I'll never ever forget the times we had and even when I'm 30 if I hear "Living on a Prayer" you know I'll bust out with the singing and hand motions. Maybe it's just me, but while change does make me sad, I love the fact that even if I have moved on, even when I'm in the worst of moods, I can look back on something and it can make me smile even if it's just for a second. Call it living in the past, but it's how I deal with things. Life moves on and of course you have to move with it, but I know that there are some things I could never forget and friends that I'll always have there for me no matter what. And I like having that sort of comfort.

While I did work like a mofo this summer...I'm glad that I still got to see all of my friends before we all left. I had so many awesome times with not just The Club, but other people that I hadn't hung out with before...and we had a lot of fun. The ton of fieworks we must have set off, the late nights, stargazing, the parties, "Wednesday Night" Part Deux, Wednesday Night Part Twois, Chinese Fire Drills, driving around, sinks, Team DMal, "Two in the bed...", Steam Roller!, Dare I say....lazer pointer (lol), The bent stop sign, The golf course, rolling down hills, Swimming in fountains, ass tag, Ding dong ditch, Shaving Cream, Tubing, gosh I can't list it all. Just know I had some of the best times this summer. And I'll never forget them.

Honestly...I wish everyone the best of luck in college. It sucks we all have to go out separate ways. Senior year was probabaly one of the best years and I don't want to forget a moment of it. When I was stargazing with Fran one night we were talking about how whenever something's going really good, something always comes along to ruin it. And I feel like that's what happened. I mean, I knew college was going to happen, but things really did seem to be going awesome, then BAM. It's over. Well...not necessarily over...but things got all messed up. But hey, what can ya do? Everything happens for a reason right? But I'm going to miss everyone and I really do hope everyone has fun at college.

And with that, I say that I'm excited, and I'm so ready for college...Bring it.

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 16:14:43 GMT

Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my best friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should have said more
Thanks for the best time of my life.
And now that you're gone, I've finally realized that you were the best.
I won't forget the times that we had.
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past...
Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I will hear from you soon
Thank you for everything
And now that you're gone I've finally realized that you were the best
I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past...

I'm gonna miss him.

This whole saying goodbye thing suckkkks

Sometimes life is something you can't see

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 23:26:08 GMT

My approach to the whole college deal: I want to hang out and have fun with my BEST friends and people who mean a lot to me as much as possible before we leave. I want to end it and leave on a good note.

Clearly that's not how everyone sees it...

I can accept that everyone deals with this in a different way...But if we could at least meet halfway here that would be nice...But whatever.

It's hard to remember how it felt before...

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 17:48:36 GMT

Well where should I even begin? Honestly...

Sadly enough, Wednesday night was Emily Hill's last night. She left early Friday morning and I really do miss her a lot. Everyone went to Fran's for a movie night type thing and we had a ton of fun as usual. Young Fankenstein with DMAL and Mr. Ryder in it, pizza and of course DANCING. I'm convinced that I've never had more fun than when I'm dancing to "Living on a Prayer" with my best friends. And I must say, I discovered there's nothing really more empowering than rocking out to "Since You've Been Gone" with a a bunch of girls either. The whole club was actually together for the first time in a while. Honestly, no one has as much fun as us. There's never a dull moment and we never stop laughing. I'm going to miss that next year.

I <3 The Club

So that was Wednesday night. Somewhat depressing but whatever.

Friday night I went to MA and hung out with my crew up there for the night which was a lot of fun. All I gotta say about that night is dice, Team Side Ponytail, no toilet paper, tripling up and calling random people. Good times. Saw Mike for the first time in a while too...we went out and got food and whatnot Saturday morning and it was fun.

Yesterday I went to Shannon's grad party when I got home which was fun. Of course Carden and I were the first people to attack the moon bounce, despite the fact that we were wearing skirts. Then we dominated in ping pong....Team DMal for life. We'll take on Team 69 Fall off Bed anytime, anywhere...We're 10 to the 4th times better than you. Oh and Kathryn, Carden and I made the best handshake ever. "Out! In! Out! In! Tuuuuuuuuurn!"

Last night was a lot of confusion at first but ended up being okay in the end. Wendy's, fireworks, Fran's. A lot that could be said about last night...lol. I <3 my best friends. What a briiiiiiiiiiiight time! It's the riiiiiiiiight time!

ONE MORE WEEK OF CAMP! Yesssssssssssssssss!

yep...

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 02:32:16 GMT

I could write a lot here. But I won't. Plus I wouldn't even know where to begin...or what to even say.

Carden's back and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad everyone's back so we can all live up these last few weeks of summer. And believe me...we have been. There's been a lot of fun had these past few days and i love it. And there's definitely more fun to come.

But there's still the fact that August has begun...the last month of our short summer, which means one thing...goodbyes. Tomorrow night is already Emily Hill's last night. :(

And this is where I discover I don't know what else to say. There's a lot I could...but whatever.

You spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said, did you know I miss you?

I still wish you'd fought me till your dying day...

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 20:12:56 GMT

I must say that "Split Screen Sadness" by John Mayer is one of my favorite songs. It's one of those songs you kind of forget about how good it is until you're in that mood again and you listen to it and you're like "shit son, this is the story of my life"...yeah just like that.

It's a good thing this weekend has been a lot of fun. I needed it. If you want details on my life, just ask me. But I can't gaurantee I'll tell you.

This summer is really going by too fast. And of course pretty much everyone is leaving at the same time. But me, I'm stuck here till September 4th. That's going to suck.

I can't wait till August 5th too. Yessss. All I'm saying is that it better be the good time I've been promised.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 23:20:06 GMT

This summer has sucked.

There...I said it.

sigh

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 04:06:05 GMT

Is there a reason why everyone decides to go away at the same time?

To be honest this summer hasn't been that great so far. With all my close friends being away on vacations and whatnot there's no one to hang out with in my free time when I'm not working. And like I can't hang out with Mike every night since ya know he has his friends and stuff. I mean I do see Fullman at work everyday and I'll hang out with Kathryn or whoever at nights. I actually hung out with Craig and some people last week and it was fun. But all I'm saying is I really miss having everyone around. And it's made me in this really weird mood lately and I'm sorry to anyone that has had to deal with it the past few days.

So Fran returns this week which I'm happy about. Carden doesn't come back until the 27th, which is when Jess and Ian come back as well. I feel like I'm spending all my time just waiting for people to come home...Which isn't good because I don't want to waste the time I do have here. Summer really is already going by fast and everyone's going to be leaving soon. It's so weird and I'm dreading the middle/end of August when everyone starts to leave. Ahhhh. I've been thinking about it soooo much lately...how much it's going to suck saying goodbye to everyone. That's probably part of my mood as well. So again, I'm sorry to everyone who has had to deal with me.

But for now...as much as it bothers me I just want to forget about it all and have fun. Honestly this summer's going to go by too fast as it is and I don't want to look back and regret not making the best of it. So I think it's just better to have fun for the rest of the summer...and just cross that bridge when I get to it.

"It looks cozy..."

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 05:19:16 GMT

Hale and I are ready....

I'll follow you down

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 20:18:56 GMT

Yesterday I went to my cousins house in Malrboro for a 4th of July thing. Jess called and she was bored so she drove over. After a little while we left and headed back to Sturbridge to see what everyone else was doing. Good times rocking out in "Lady". After a few random stops at places we met up with Ian, Lem, Lindz, Hannah and MB at Friendly's. I hadn't seen Ian since Prom and I hadn't seen any of the girls since like...January so it was a lot of fun.

"That sign makes absolutely no sense..."

Ian and the Forbidden Choc

You can't take me anywhere...

Ice Cream is obviously a serious matter for Jess haha....<3 to Lem pigging out in the background

I heart Ian!

I think that we both need this

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 03:22:41 GMT

So what's new?

Well I graduated. Yeah. You can see pictures on my webshots if you want.

Treadwell starts next week. Rock on to working every single day...and even Misty Morning on top of it Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. The only good thing out of this...money.

Summer is already going by too fast. It's already July. Crazy.

So my social circle of females (aka The Club) has been reduced to just 4 people...Kathryn, Fullman, Hizzle and Myself. We are bored out of our minds to say the least. Fran is in Australia, Carden's in Mexico, Emily J is in Colorado, Shannon is...somewhere I forget where she went..NC maybe?, and Kate is...well she was in NJ and might possibly still be there. And as of next week Fullman and I will be working all day, Hizzle already works almost everyday and Kathryn does who knows what. It's just weird how we're all busy or gone somewhere. With there being so many of us, and all having such busy and different schedules, it's going to be hard for us all to get together as a group for at least one more night this summer before we all scatter. I hope we can make it happen...

I've been talking to Hale again and it's awesome. I've missed her. Hopefully we'll get to see more of each other now.

As for this week I've been eh. I've just been in "one of those moods" all week. Whatever.

Everyone have a good 4th of July.

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while....

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 23:56:26 GMT

My graduation party was yesterday. It was interesting...overall a fun time. Gotta love beer pong in the backyard with the fam.

So graduation is on Tuesday. Anxious? Yes. Excited? Yes. But as much as I want to get out of this place...at the same time I know I'd do it all over again in a second. I know I'm going to miss all of my friends more than anything, and the only thing I really regret is that I didn't meet them sooner. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends in Massachusetts and I do wish I could have gone through these past 2 years with them too, but out of all the places I could have spent my last 2 years of high school...I'm glad that it was here. I know I've complained about this place more time than I can count, and I am glad to get out and meet new people and experience something new, but I know I'll miss it all. It's kind of like what Brett said...I'm not crying about leaving here, but I'm also not saying "FUCK YOU NHS! IM OUT!" I don't know. I guess I'm just somewhere in the middle.

It's starting to get to the point where everytime we all get together, all my friends and I talk about is what has happened that year. And when you start recalling every event and memory you have it gets sad.....really sad. It's especially depressing when you have to start planning things around when people are leaving and going off to school. That's when you know it's almost over, and it's the weirdest feeling ever. Just thinking that you're not going to see these people everyday anymore...just weird I guess. And I never thought I'd feel this way when I moved here. I came here so pessimistic and thinking I'd never make good friends in two years and that when I'd graduate I'd never feel sad about it or anything. I guess I was wrong....and I guess I'm glad I was.

I'll never ever forget who I've met here and everything that has happened. The Club--You guys are amazing and the best group of friends ever. I never thought I'd come here and meet 9 (technically 10 with Hale lol...who I do actually miss by the way) best friends over the course of 2 years. I'm so fortunate to have you guys...from MmmBopping to Living on a Prayer to Dancing in people's living rooms...I'll never forget it. It's going to be insane when we come back here for breaks...I can't wait. Carden, Fran, Kathryn--The best of the best....I don't know where I'd be without you guys. Everything has been too amazing..."Wednesday Night", Nothing nights, Movie nights where we wouldn't even watch movies, everything...I couldn't even list it all if I tried. I love you guys. And I'll always be here for you no matter where I am. I'm only a phone call away (or a T ride away for Carden haha). Keep MmmBopping Club...I love you girls. There's so many other people...Kate, Hannah--my newbies...I'm glad you guys came here when I did because you guys are awesome and I'm glad we got to be friends so fast (maybe cause we didn't know anyone!) But I'm glad you guys were some of my first friends here...I'll miss you guys love you. Honestly I could go off and list all of my friends and every memory. But just know that no matter what I've ever said about hating it here...you guys are the ones who kept me sane this whole time. I don't know what I'd do without you guys. And like I said....I don't have any regrets about anything...except that I met you guys so late. I'd do high school all over again and not change anything....not even moving. Sure maybe I wouldn't have voluntarily moved...But I don't regret coming here at all. I wouldn't change anything that has happened to me at all...because the time I did spend in MA was awesome...and it was here too.

I guess what I'm trying to say from all of this is I'm going to miss this place and what has happened here. It's going to be weird leaving....but I'm excited. And thanks for everything you guys...Live it up and Good luck.

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 23:22:05 GMT

New pictures are up on my webshotsssssss.

And like Brett, there will be a graduation rant coming up soon. And no, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be a bad rant.

Tomorrow is my last day of school as a high schooler. Weird. But I'll get into all of that later.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 23:55:51 GMT

Last night was the Senior Dinner Dance and it was fun. And Carden and I made our own senior trip to Fairfield Beach today....haha we both got burned on our backs but it's okay.

Fri, 27 May 2005 02:13:48 GMT

I can't take school too much anymore. Lucky Tanty kids are already done. eh...I mean most of my teachers really don't care anymore. It's all such a joke now.

Yesterday was Senior Health Day....YES. Spent all day missing classes to hear an old guy talk about wearing condoms, a boring lady talk about college and 4 crackheads sing about hepatitis...Oh and you can't forget Nostalgia-fest '05 in the gym afterwards...that was...well...don't get me started.

I understand everyone here has their memories. I mean a lot of these kids go back to elementary school and have lived here their whole life. Like it was cute how they had all the elementary school pics and the whole "open mic memory" deal where anyone could go up and say something...But I just wasn't feeling it for obvious reasons. It just made me miss my school and the people I've known since elementary school. I know I've said all of this a million times...and I'm not trying to say I regret coming here and experiencing what I have and meeting the people I have met...because that's great. I love the memories I have made here, the friends I've made and just everything I have been through. But even though I have grown apart from the people I did grow up with (except Jess and a few others)..I just miss them ya know? I wanted to be able to look up there, see everyone and how they've changed. Maybe it's a little too hard to explain. I was sitting with Carden and Fran during it and they see where I'm coming from. I just looked at Carden and was like "I want to go home"...and she totally understood. I've had a great 2 years of memories and friends here and I wouldn't trade them for anything. But at the same time I do miss Tantasqua. Oh well...that's life I guess.

THS graduation is next weekend...I think I'll be going with Jess. I miss her...

Sun, 22 May 2005 03:06:25 GMT

So a quick recap of last night...

I got ready at Carden's...saw IAN for the first time in a while which was exciting. Took some pics there then went home. Mike picked me up and we went and took pictures. My toe was bleeding...random and annoying but it was fine in the end. Then we drove to prom. It was a good time and everyone looked really nice. Ate like bubbas and then busted some moves on the dance floor. Then afterwards we went to deroo's for the night, had some fun and some good laughs....lol. But yeah overall it was a really fun night. Good times.

Pictures are up on my webshots and I'll have more sooooooon. :)

la la la la

Fri, 20 May 2005 00:05:32 GMT

Not too much has happened lately...but if you really wanna know...

-Started working at Misty Morning last week. It isn't that bad. Only $7.50 an hour which kind of sucks and it's everyday. But it's only like 3 hours a day, the kids are cute (some of them) and hey....it's money. I won't complain.
-Got my LAPTOP! My graduation present from the rents I guess. PS-Only cool kids have laptops...hehe
-Prom is tomorrow. To quote Carden Ryder, "where did the year go?". Honestly, it went by so fast....crazy.
-Only like 15 days of classes left...and i know i'll have like 2 or 3 field trips in there somewhere...and plus it's not like any teachers wanna teach anymore anyways. Except DMal who's giving us a test TOMORROW. Honestly who does that?

Other than that....not much is happening. Graduation in June 21...Then SUMMER. Can't wait.

Time to meet Fran at the gym. It's sad cause I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had any ambition to go. Oh well.

Stolen from Carden

Mon, 09 May 2005 23:29:23 GMT

5 Reasons Why Sex is Good

1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.

2) You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.

3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than women who dont have sex.

4) Makes you look better- [ problem is ugly people don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your body which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physic.

5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are.

How could I have been the one?

Thu, 05 May 2005 01:45:41 GMT

So this week's been...eh.

Tuesday I had no classes...good
However Tuesday is the day I have 3 classes...bad
The reason I had no classes: AP Calc Exam...very bad

I have a Physex test tomorrow. Not too fun. Oh well.

Other than that things have been excellente :)

Generally, everyone seems to be pretty happy lately. Maybe spring's finally starting to kick in. Or it could be the fact that school is practically done for most of us. Either one.

There's beauty in the breakdown

Sun, 01 May 2005 17:11:06 GMT

I'm so done with school. I'm so sick of it. I have no more motivation to do anything. Ugh! I have an Econ test tomorrow, AP Calc on Tuesday (death), and a Physics test on Thursday. Plus projects and other stuff for my other classes. Ehhhhhh.

On the bright side, today there's a new porn, cigarette and lotto ticket customer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRETT! :)

"But there's a dirty thing there....I don't want to touch it!"

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 15:31:02 GMT

Vacation has been good so far...I'm so glad it's finally here and that it's wicked nice out. Saturday Carden and I had our own Spring Break party....since we have no friends cause everyone is away this break! Well until Wednesday at least. We made this really random smoothie which actually turned out to be pretty good, listened to music and danced around in her driveway. And you can't forget playing limbo too. haha. Sunday I basically layed outside all day cause it was so warm out. Got a little tan but yeah...not that much. Carden came over that night and we ate chocolate pie like bubbas and watched Titanic....cause Leo is hotttt.

Yesterday was really fun. At least I thought so. I went to Boston to meet up with Kayla and Tara at Griffs house. Mike came with me :) On the way up there was a ton of traffic in Waterbury cause a truck tipped over...so we took all these backroads through random towns to go around it. It ended up working out....it was an adventure. We got to Boston around 12 and chilled at Griffs apartment for a while. Watched the Red Sox game and the marathon. Then we went to Quincy Market for a while. It was wicked awesome seeing them all again. It was a good time. On the way home Mike and I stopped at Friendly's in Sturbridge. Drew and Jess met us there...we only spent like maybe 20 minutes with them total but it was still fun. Good times.

Kayla! lol some things never change....

I rest my case....Tara didn't want her picture taken

She finally came around though

I didn't get one normal pic of Kayla...What else is new? The funny thing is, we're both making the same face...haha.

Mike being extreme on the T...lol

Mike and Kayla doing pullups on the bar...

Tara, Me and DANNY! He's too cute!

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 20:08:56 GMT

I honestly can't wait for summer and for it to be this warm all the time.

I love the warm weather.

wow

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 18:24:28 GMT

     Oh, for Pete's sake. This one is impossible. He disappeared. He just stopped calling you or writing you or seeing you out of the blue. You were in what you considered some sort of 'relationship.' You felt that whatever you had together warranted even the tiniest explanation if one of you decided to call it quits. But instead, there's silence. No explanation, no good-bye. Just a vanishing. There's nothing worse, in dating terms, nothing worse, than that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when it looks like the guy you were seeing or getting to know has decided to bail on you instead of talking to you about it. Nothing worse.
     So first you feel hurt. But then you feel helpless, completely and totally helpless. He just disappeared, making you feel like you had absolutely no value or meaning to him whatsoever. And you might be shocked, too. He might not have ever behaved this way before. So now you're so unbelievably disappointed. 'Really? Now I have to not like him? Now I have to think he's a jerk? That's what this relationship added up to? There's got to be some kind of reasonable explanation.' So then you start giving this great guy a big heap of your time and energy, making up excuses for why he's just disappeared (he's busy, he's busy...and maybe he's busy), still hoping that he will come to his senses and at least drop you an e-mail. You then start going through everything you said, did, or wrote that might have driven him away. What was the thing you said that was so inappropriate or needy, that he had no other recourse than to head for the hills? You blame yourself for some perceived strategic misstep. 'Oh, if only I had played it better! He would still be mine!' Or, simply, you're worried that he's dead on the street somewhere. Why else would he just disappear like that?
     So then, you want to call him and say something. Or write him. You're either angry or hurt, or still holding out hope that he's in a coma at a hospital somewhere. But however you feel, you definitely think it is your right to either yell at him or find out what happened. What's worse than not knowing? Nothing. Except maybe not getting to tell him off.

I only took part of it....it's so true though.

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 03:01:25 GMT

There's nothing like watching your 3 year old cousin dance to 'Classic Disco' saying "Oooooh! I like this music!"....

Kind of creepy...but entertaining nonetheless

did I mention he was also holding a cap gun?

That thing was the shit

A little story

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 04:00:09 GMT

One sunny tuesday afternoon, two silly girls named Kathryn and Sarah decided it would be a good day to go to the dock. Now, it may have seemed like a good idea at the time but they were soon to find out just how bad of an idea it actually was. They arrived at their destination shorty after leaving school, parked their cars and disembarked on their journey. They started walking down the long path. After a few minutes, their conversation was interupted by the sight of a dark object on 4 legs slowly meandering away from them on the path ahead. "Wait...what is that?" Kathryn said as the two girls stopped in their tracks. "I don't know," Sarah replied. "Oh my God...Is that a Bear?!" Kathryn then said. The girls were in shock. Sarah immediately turned around and started to walk away saying, "Kathryn we have to go!" Kathryn, being the rebellious freak she is, refused to leave right away. "I've never seen a bear before! That's so cool!" She said. "No Kathryn! We have to leave! If it sees us it will start chasing us!" Said Sarah, in her true wimpy fashion. Kathryn stood there for a few more seconds staring at the bear as Sarah continued to walk away telling Kathryn to get away. Suddenly, Kathryn began to run. "I think it turned around and saw me!" she said with panic in her voice. The two girls ran as fast as they could through the muddy rocky path until they reached the spot where they had parked their cars, out of breath and laughing hysterically at what they had just experienced. All either could say was, "DUDE! We just saw a BEAR!"

THE END

So what will be next for these two crazy kids?

Obviously....a bear hunt.